Church Etiquette

The Holy Orthodox Church is perhaps one of the last places where dignity, protocol, and reverence are carefully kept. When we come to the services we are entering the Kingdom of God on earth, and we honor this sacred place by attending to what is proper and ordered: “You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation” (1 Peter 2:9). There are different traditions even among the Orthodox faithful; we come above all to pray and worship God, and that should be our only focus.

Entering the church

The Divine Liturgy begins when the priest intones, “Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” — arrive early enough to receive that blessing. If you must come late, enter reverently and quietly, and wait in the narthex during the Little and Great Entrances, while the priest censes the icons and the congregation or gives the homily, and during the reading of the Epistle and Gospel; an usher can guide you to the best moment. Coming to Orthros before the Liturgy ensures you are settled in plenty of time to pray without distraction.

Standing and sitting

Some Orthodox Christians stand throughout the services; if you stand in a church with pews, do so near the back or sides so the view of the altar is not blocked. If you sit, stand at these times: the opening blessing, the Little and Great Entrances, the censing, the Gospel reading, the Anaphora, Holy Communion, and the final blessing. When a hierarch visits, follow his example — stand and sit when he does.

Lighting candles

Lighting a candle for personal petitions and intercessions is a pious tradition when entering the church. Do not light candles at the moments when one should not enter — during the Entrances, the censing, the homily, or the readings. Let candles burn all the way down: the flame is our prayer rising to heaven and the light of Christ in our midst. Children should not light candles alone, and it is customary to leave a donation for each candle.

Venerating icons

We venerate icons — we do not worship them. The fitting way is to kiss the hands or feet of the saint depicted, or the scroll, Gospel book, or hand cross the saint holds. Please do not wear lipstick when kissing icons; the residue ruins them.

Pious customs

It is always appropriate to cross oneself at the mention of the Holy Trinity, on entering or leaving the church, when passing before the altar, and when venerating an icon, the Gospel, or the cross. When the priest blesses or censes the congregation, bow to receive the blessing rather than crossing yourself. The faithful bow when the Theotokos and Christ are petitioned, and at the priest’s blessing.

In some traditions kneeling is practiced at the Consecration of the Holy Gifts — but kneeling is set aside from Pascha to Pentecost, in honor of the Resurrection. In some parishes the faithful touch the hem of the priest’s vestment as he passes in the Great Entrance, imitating the woman healed by touching the hem of Christ’s robe; take care never to step in front of the procession or pull on the garment.

During the Liturgy

Save greetings and conversation for the fellowship hall — in the Liturgy we greet God. Phones are silenced or off; if you must carry one for emergencies, keep it on mute and sit near an exit. Do not reserve seats; make room especially for visitors. Do not wear lipstick when receiving Holy Communion or kissing the cross, an icon, or the priest’s hand. And keep a reverent posture — crossed legs and arms stretched over the pew are too casual for the house of God.

The antidoron

When receiving the blessed bread after Holy Communion or at the end of the Liturgy, take care that no crumbs fall. Help children take a single piece and handle it with care, and say the prayers of thanksgiving quietly while others are still communing.

Children in church

“Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14). Children belong in the Liturgy, and they learn its reverence by being taught quietly within it. If a little one becomes fussy, step out of the nave briefly and return; have children use the restroom before the service, and never allow running in the aisles, noisy toys, or chewing gum. It can help to “practice” church behavior with small children when the Liturgy is not being served — teaching them that this is God’s own house, deserving their most special manners.

Leaving the church

The respectful custom is to remain until the final blessing and to venerate the cross held by the priest at the end of the Divine Liturgy — those who leave early deprive themselves of a blessing. On reaching the back of the nave, it is customary to face the altar, bow, and make the sign of the cross.

Greeting the priest or bishop

We do not shake a priest’s or bishop’s hand; we ask his blessing and kiss his hand — honoring Christ, whom he represents. Approach with the right hand over the left, palms up, bow, and say “Father, bless” to a priest or “Master, bless” to a bishop.

Dress

We dress modestly and respectfully for worship. Please choose clothing that covers the shoulders and is not overly short, tight, or transparent, and avoid distracting slogans or prints. Men and boys customarily remove their hats. Formal attire is not required, and visitors are welcome as they learn the customs of the parish.

Photography and parish banquets

When photography takes place at any service — including weddings and baptisms — photographers must never shoot from behind the priest or standing before the altar. At parish banquets, wait for the blessing of the food before eating, listen politely during any program, and dress with the same respect the occasion deserves. Above all: “In all things give glory to God.”

This guide is adapted from the booklet prepared by the Department of Marriage and Parish Family Ministry of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America, in conjunction with Conciliar Media Ministries.